The Perseids Project
As many of you know, August (my birth month) has been an historically difficult month for me (Click to jump to History for the full story). In years past I've celebrated my trip around the sun by playing the Birthday Game, requesting folks share a selfie and a message of how we met in lieu of the standard birthday well-wishes. You are still invited to play this game if it better suits you!
This year I'd like to take this opportunity to humbly ask for something a bit more daring...
Since my first star tattoo in 2010 (matching with Emilie after Dan's memorial, to signify that I would not be burried in a Jewish cemetary), I have often dreamed of becoming a meteor shower, turning myself into a constellation of the people I've crossed paths with in this lifetime.
To know where I have come from, what we've been through, and who I carry with me each day.
History
Each year I share my birthday with two recurring events.
The first is the Perseids meteor shower. I can't narrow down my earliest memory of the spectical to any particular year - I was young, I rememeber it was late at night, on our yearly vacation UATL (Up At The Lake Wallenpaupack, PA) with my family, my dad brought me down to the dock and we sat in silence and waited for some time before seeing my first shooting star. I learned that I'd share my birthday with this light show.
This year's display was LOVELY. Peaking on the evening of the 12th, with a new moon, under rural skies, and very little light pollution. We were treated to a dazzling display against the milky way back drop. The show continues until August 24th, so if you missed the peak, there's still time to find some big dark sky. The best viewing is usually after midnight, when the Perseus constellation is visible.
CW: Brief mention of sibling death (just the next paragraph, feel free to skip). The second recurring event is my late brother Dan's death day, in 2009. A part of me always thought it was fitting that Dan's death, someone so significant and central to my identity in life, would be tied inextricably to my yearly celebration of life. IYKYK. First in our family to be cremated, ashes scattered in a beloved location during his memorial the following year. After much family discussion, my parents and I agreed we too would prefer cremation. To commemorate my decision, I got a small star tattoo to signify that I could no long be buried in a Jewish cemetery and became the first in my family to, willingly and voluntarily, get a tattoo.
In 2010 my long-time-BFF Emilie joined me and my family for my late brother's memorial UATL and gratefully agreed to embark on a matching tattoo journey with me. We searched a then nascent Yelp for the nearest tattoo shop. The tattoo shop owner had never hear of Yelp, didn't know they already had a listing with not one but TWO 5 star reviews! Luckily they had space open and we drove 45 minutes from Lake Wallenpaupack to Scranton, Pennsylvania, a town most well know for the TV series The Office (US) and faux place of employment, the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. The sleepy little mill town was as picturesque and boring as the series promised. Upon arrival, Emilie quickly drew a seven pointed star on a scarp of paper and - without taking a beat to look up symbolism or possible cultural meaning - we had the doodle inscribed in our mortal flesh.
The process was quick, took about 30-minutes (each), and felt a little like getting scratched by a cat in slow motion - unpleasant but tolerable.
The Invitation
Watching the Perseids meteor shower this past week — bursts of light streaking across an inky sky, and admiring the way delicate threads of light seem to connect the stars — reminded me of a long backburned wish.
Honestly, I've put off sharing this wish for 15 years out of fear this is such a wildly big ask, I'm not even sure how plausible it is. It's worth a shot though. It means something to me, to feel connected to a galaxy bigger than myself - and maybe there are a handful of people who'd like to feel connected to me too.
If you're reading this, it means that our lives have overlapped in a meaningful-to-me-way, and for that alone I am grateful. Thank you for being you. You are already a star.
If you would like to take things a step further, if this kind of connection or project warms your heart, then here is your open invitation. Without pressure to say yes, I would be honored to get matching star tattoos with you and carry a little piece of our history with me for always.
This can happen several different ways (each getting more complicated):
Whatever you choose:
Let me know! Send me a pic or your plan/intention.
Not feeling the star thing? I get it, and there's no pressure here.
All I can do is ask and see who shows up :D